10 Ibadaat Survival Guide to Periods During Laylatul Qadr

10 Ibadaat Survival Guide to Periods During Laylatul Qadr
-Sana Abdul Samad

Bismillah Rabbi Zidnee Ilman
“My Lord! Increase me in knowledge.”

In Ramadān, your period isn’t just “that time of the month” anymore. Now we are in the month of all months. The month we have been anticipating to finally recharge our spiritual battery. Then it happens. And suddenly, we can no longer perform Taraweeh and regular prayers, fast with the rest of the family, and hold the Qur’an. And Allah-forbid it happens in the last 10 days!

Thinking in this way can really make you a Muslimah feeling down, and cause you to miss out on even more opportunities to build a closer relationship with Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’aala) . This is not bad luck that happened to us – Allah ordains everything, even a leaf falling from a tree. And He tells us,

“for every matter there is an appointed time given.”
{Surah Ar-Rad 13:38}

So then there must be Hekma, a divine wisdom from Allah, behind our menses and their timings. Seeing those around us going for Taraweeh and breaking their fasts doesn’t make it easy to stay positive. Perhaps you will even look at yourself and feel you are being deprived of gaining reward. Yes, prayer and fasting are now out of your plans for a few days this Ramadān – but here are 10 rewarding acts of worship that never should be. And the best part is, each has its reward with Allah.

1 – Connect with the Qur’an.
Your connection with the Qur’an does not need to come to a halt once your period starts. Actually, this connection could be what keeps you feeling close to Allah Subhanahu wa ta’aala when prayer and fasting can’t serve that purpose! There is no authentic evidence from the Qur’an or Sunnah forbidding women to memorize, listen to, study, or reflect on the Qur’an, so do not feel that you are prevented from doing so. Although there are opposing opinions of whether a menstruating woman should recite the Qur’an, the stronger evidence supports that it is permissible and that a woman should not be deprived of reciting it and earning her rewards. What is not part of the etiquette is for a menstruating woman to physically touch the mus’haf (the original Arabic Qur’an). As Allah says,

“… which none can touch except the purified.”
{Surah al-Waaqi’ah 56: Ayaah 79}

So, you may choose to review previously memorized verses, memorize new ones, or just listen to recitations whilst letting the Qur’an enter and soften your heart. This is also a great time to hold a tafseer book, and deeply ponder on the meanings and lessons of the ayahs so they can beautifully be applied. This method may bring you much more benefit than holding the mus’haf and reading it alone, as many people may do with the intention of quickly completing it by the end of Ramadān! Just don’t abandon the Qur’an. Not in these days; in the month that Allah had sent it down to us. It is too great of a loss to let a week of Ramadān pass in which you have no connection with the Qur’an.

2 – Implement the Adhkar.
Self-check! Is your only remembrance (dhikr) of Allah in your salah? Many sisters tend to feel a sense of depression during the days of their menses, perhaps partly because they distance themselves from Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’aala). But when you implement the adhkar, you discover another source of connecting with Him that never gets cut off. Allah makes it clear to those who turn away from His remembrance,

“Indeed, he will have a depressed life, and We will gather him on the Day of Resurrection blind.”
{Surah Taha 20: Ayaah 124}

And instead, He gives glad tidings that,

“Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.”
{Surah Ar-Rad 13: Ayaah 28}

It is then that sadness, emptiness, and inner-struggles are replaced with joy, tranquillity, and positivity. So wet your tongue with Subhan’Allah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar, and La ilaaha illa Allah! Also, get into the habit of saying adhkar al-sabaah (morning) wal-masaa (evening), as Allah says:

“O believers! Remember Allah as a frequent remembrance, and glorify Him morning and evening.”
{Surah al-Ahzaab, 33: Ayaat 41-42}

This is a strong shield of protection from any evil and negativity. Try it on a daily basis, and see its effects on your overall serenity!
Tip: Do not trust that you will remember Allah on your own without working to make it a habit. Put reminders on your phone. Make it a daily must. The morning and evening adhkar are great because their daily routine helps keep you consistent.

3 – Feed the Fasting.
You don’t need to be a great cook. Aim to serve the dates or water at iftaar time when your family, friends or guests are breaking their fast.The Prophet (SalAllahu alayhi wa Sallam) said,

“Whoever feeds a fasting person will have a reward like that of the fasting person, without any reduction in his reward.”
[Tirmidhi]

Don’t forget to be sweet and sincere with your ways – take a date and put it directly in your mother’s mouth, or your spouse’s, to break her or his fast. Can you not feel the mercy of Allah in this very moment?
The Prophet also encouraged this act by expressing how even a tiny amount of food or drink given to the fasting person is great in the eyes of Allah, saying,

“Allah will give you the reward of feeding a fasting person even if you were to give him just a sip of milk, a date, or a sip of water. He who feeds a fasting person until he is full, Allah will make him drink out of my river, a sip of which will never allow him to be thirsty until he enters Jannah.”
[Al-Bayhaqi]

Suggestion: Buy a box of dates and distribute them at a gathering of Muslims, such as at a masjid, for the sake of none but Allah. Receive the same reward as all those who were fasting. This is one of the easiest, almost effortless ways to gain reward, and all it takes is a self-reminder!

4 – Work to Serve Others.
Use your extra body fuel as a source of relief by taking on some extra work around your household on behalf of those fasting. Serving your parents is of highest priority. If your mother is cleaning, take on those chores to free up some of her time for ibadah and resting while she is low on energy. Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’aala) tells us that our service for humanity is what gives our Ummah its great status:

“O people of Islam, You are the best people ever raised for the good of mankind because you have been raised to serve others…”
{Surah Al-Imran 3: Ayaah 111}

“The best of people are those that bring most benefit to the rest of mankind.”
[Hasan]

And He tells us of His great recompense for our services, promising “Whoever relieves a believer of distress in this world, Allah will relieve him of some of the distress of the Day of Resurrection. Whoever makes things easy for those who are in difficulty, Allah will make things easy for him in this world and in the next… Allah will help the slave so long as the slave helps his brother.”
[Muslim]

5 – Make Du’a.
Allah is al-Samee’ (The All-Hearing) and wants to hear from you! There is no reason to stop making dua during menstruation. Take this time to learn His names, so when you use them to call upon Him, your duas are more effective and beloved by Him. The Prophet (salAllahu aleyhi wa Sallam) advised Aisha to say (especially important in the last 10 days of Ramadān), “Allahumma innaka ‘afuwwun, tuhibbul-‘afwa, fa’fu ‘anni (Oh Allah, You are The Pardoner, You love to pardon, so pardon me.)”
He also said,

“When Ramadān comes, the Doors of Mercy are opened…”
[Bukhari]

Now your duas will more likely be responded to, and for the forgiveness you seek to be granted by Allah’s mercy.
If you feel unsure of what to ask for, at least hold on to this one powerful dua, as advised by the Prophet, that literally asks for everything you need in the Dunya and Akhirah:

“Our Lord! Give us in this world that which is good and in the Hereafter that which is good, and save us from the torment of the Fire!”
{Surat Al-Baqarah 2: Ayaah 201}

Remember: No believer makes du’a and it is wasted. Have full hope that they will be answered in the best of ways!

6 – Clean up your Local Masjid.
Masha’Allah. Now that the masjid in your community is flooded with Muslims and its resources are being used much more, it is probably in a messier state than ever. Stay behind to do some clean up!

“The Messenger of Allah (saws) commanded that mosques should be built among the houses (i.e., in each neighbourhood), and that they should be cleaned and perfumed.”
[Tirmidhi]

This is a great act of ibadah to carry out during your period – it gives you a purpose to still head for the masjid, and most cleaning can be done while others are praying. If people fail to notice or appreciate your work, continue for the sake of Allah. Be the one to fulfill a great deed so discreetly that it makes a difference for the people even without their realization. And Allah is Ash-Shakur (The Most Appreciative), and always shows His appreciation with great reward.As the Prophet said,

“Whosoever removes adhaa (anything repulsive or harmful) from the masjid, Allah will make a house for him in Jannah.”
[Ibn-majah]

Remember to stay sincere in your intention without complaining, but appreciate the fact that the masjid is being benefitted from. Following a deen in which cleanliness is half our faith, this is not a degrading job to look down upon. You can be the maintainer of Allah’s place of worship.
Ideas: Vacuum carpets, clean up kitchen, arrange Qur’an and bookshelves, fold prayer rugs, collect garbage, print reminders to keep the masjid clean.

7 – Visit the Sick.
A sick person may find themselves not visited as often in Ramadān. He or she would likely be feeling extreme boredom, and could really use a psychological boost and the company of caring people. So if you get the opportunity t0 visit during your few days break, take it. It will make all the difference to them!
On Judgment Day, Allah Subhanahu wata’aala will say:

“O son of Adam, I was ill and you did not visit Me.’ The man will say, ‘O Lord, how could I visit You when You are the Lord of the worlds?’ He will say, ‘Do you not know that My slave so-and-so was ill and you did not visit him? Do you not know that if you had visited him, you would have found Me with him?
[Muslim]

This act is so important that the Prophet (SalAllahu aleyhi waSallam) said it is one of the five duties a Muslim owes to his brother (to visit him when he is sick). The virtue is that,

“When the Muslim visits his (sick) Muslim brother, he is harvesting the fruits of Paradise until he returns.”
[Muslim]

Note: The sunnah of visiting the sick is not limited to those you know, but includes strangers and non-Muslims as well.

8 – Gain Knowledge.
“The learned are the heirs of the Prophets…”, and this is because our Prophets did not leave behind money, but rather only left behind knowledge. And whoever takes it, takes an abundant wealth. This same hadith also tells us the virtue of gaining knowledge:

“If anyone travels on a road in search of knowledge, Allah will cause him to travel on one of the roads of Paradise.”
[Al-Albani]

Today’s advancing technology has made this so easy alhamdulillah! Stay productive during menstruation by listening to online lectures, reading beneficial articles, or registering for online courses (check out the great variety offered at Islamic Online University). If it’s an opportunity in your community, gain knowledge while interacting directly with other Muslims by attending halaqas, lectures and seminars, registering in local Islamic classes, or picking out a great read.

Remember: Once you’ve learned it, teach it! Afterall, one of the only two types of people we should be jealous of is “a man whom Allah has blessed with knowledge and he teaches it.”[Bukhari] The knowledge you teach will outlast your own life and remain an ongoing source of good deeds from your grave. Who says you can’t do something as great as establishing yourself a sadaqa-e-jaariyah while on your period?

9 – Give D’awah.
D’awah includes calling non-Muslims to Islam, and giving reminders and encouragement to your family and fellow Muslims. Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’aala) says,

“Invite to the Way of your Lord with wisdom and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better.”
{Surah An-Nahl 16: Ayaah 125}

Guidance is just beautiful and has a special sweetness in Ramadān when the gates of Mercy are open! You don’t need to have the greatest knowledge to call others to Islam. It’s very likely that you know or remember something that someone else does not know or has forgotten.The Prophet (SalAllahu aleyhi waSallam) tells us,

“Convey (my teachings) to the people even if it were a single sentence”
[Bukhari]

Many of us feel that our imaan is too low, our good deeds too little, and our sins have strayed us from the path ourselves. But this does not exempt you from the obligation of d’awah. So call others towards good, while also working towards it yourself. It could be through your efforts that Allah guides a non-Muslim to the path, or a Muslim to become better practicing.

10 – Enjoin the Good.
Although you may be craving to pray taraweeh and fast, do not let your feelings prevent you from enjoining others to good during this time. Be aware; sometimes it happens subconsciously, that we deprive others from specific blessings because we can’t take part in them ourselves. All it takes to get back in the driver’s seat of that khair wagon is to remember that you will get the same reward as those whom you drive towards good. Now this is the right version of selfishness!
It is because of this quality that Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’aala) honors us, saying

“You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin Al-Ma’roof (what is right) and forbid Al-Munkar (what is wrong), and you believe in Allah.”
{Surah al-‘Imraan 3: Ayaah 110}

TIPS for keeping up these 10 great acts of ibaadah during your menses

♦ Stay positive. Expect reward: Allah lifted an obligation off your shoulder. Consider your menses a rahma (mercy), and a break from committing to 5 daily prayers. You now have more flexibility for other acts of ibadah! If you expect your 5-7 days of menses to be useless, they will be useless. But when you expect the best from Allah, you will find yourself performing more good deeds knowing that they carry reward.

Allah said, “Whatever My servant assumes of Me, that is how I will treat him.”
[Muslim]

Make these expectations and enthusiasm a priority in your Ramadān spirit!

♦ Don’t belittle any good deed:

“Do not belittle any good deed, even meeting your brother with a cheerful face”
[Muslim]

And remember, an act of ibadah in Ramadān is multiplied by 70 times – even the smallest deed becomes a great one!

♦ Stay away from prohibited matters: Just because you are not fasting, it does not mean you are free to commit haraam acts. When you have a desire to do something displeasing to Allah, recognize it as an opportunity to sacrifice that small and worthless wish of yours for something far better of His. As the Prophet said,

“Indeed you will not leave anything for the sake of Allah except that Allah will replace it with something better than it.”
[Ahmad]

Now is the time – the above ibadaat will help you keep busy, strengthen your taqwa, and avoid wasting precious time during your break! Renew your intentions and make sure to carry out these ibadaat for the sake of Allah. If you choose to leave ibadah all together, this is where you start to feel sad about your situation. And even worse, miss out on an immense amount of reward. Don’t let the weak whispers of shaytan or the laziness of your own self lead to such deprivation.
You are a 24/7 slave of Allah; meaning your ibadah is all about action and it encompasses your entire lifestyle. You are a Muslimah; embrace your womanhood, it is a blessing! Alhamdulillah!

Authored by ♦ Sister Ray
Edited & Drafted by ♦ Sana Abdul Samad

Lessons Learned from the Story of Prophet Ayoub / Job

“And know that Allah knows what is in your minds, so fear Him” (2:235)

Prophet Ayoub (Alaihi-salam – May be peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was one of Allah’s very sincere worshippers. We find in his story many lessons that we can reflect upon to assess our relationship with Allah. This story especially should make us question whether all our sincerity and worship for Allah is dependent on His blessings on us.
The following story was documented by Ibn Kathir.
Prophet Ayoub (A) was Allah’s thankful, repentant, patient and steadfast worshipper. Allah the Almighty has praised Him in the Quranthus:

“Truly! We found him patient. How excellent a slave! Verily, he was ever oft-returning in repentance to Us” (Saad 38:44). 

Ibn Kathir narrates that once Iblis (satan) heard an angel praising Ayoub (A) to other angels, extolling his noble character, patience and remembrance of Allah and describing him as “the best creature on earth today, and an excellent model for the worshippers of Allah.” The angel also added that Allah had blessed him with long life and plenty of riches, yet he was never haughty or selfish. His family, servants, the needy and the poor, all had a share in his good fortune. He bought slaves to set them free and made those who received his charity feel as if they were doing him a favor.

Overhearing all this, Iblis became annoyed and planned to tempt Ayoub (A) and lead him to disbelief. First, he tried to distract him from his prayers by whispering to him about the good things in life, but as a true believer, Ayoub would not let evil thoughts tempt him. Iblis, then tried to attribute ulterior motives to his constant glorification of Allah, projecting his worship as being motivated from greed to safeguard his wealth. Iblis thus said to Allah, “If You deprive him of his wealth You will find that he will no longer mention Your name and his praying will stop.”
Allah told Iblis that Ayoub (A) was one of His most sincere devotees whose worship stemmed from his heart and had nothing to do with material gifts or favors granted to him. To prove His devotee’s depth of sincerity and patience, Allah allowed Iblis to do whatever he wished with Ayoub (A)’s wealth.

Delighted, Iblis gathered his helpers and set about destroying Ayoub (A)’s cattle, servants and farms, depriving him of all his possessions. Then in the guise of a wise old man he approached him and said:
“All your wealth is lost. Some people say that it is because you gave too much charity and that you are wasting your time with your continuous prayers to Allah. Others say that Allah has brought this upon you in order to please your enemies. If Allah had the capacity to prevent harm, then He would have protected your wealth.”

Steadfast in his faith, Ayoub (A) replied: “What Allah has taken away from me belongs to Him. I was only its trustee for a while. He gives to whom He wills and withholds from whom He wills,” and he prostrated before his Lord.

Frustrated with his failure, Iblis again addressed Allah:

“I have stripped Ayoub (A) of all his possessions, but he still remains grateful to You. However, he is only hiding his disappointment, for he places great store by his many children. The real test of a parent is through his children. You will then see how Ayoub (A) will reject You.”

Allah again granted Iblis authority, but warned him that it would reduce neither Ayoub (A)’s faith in his Lord nor his patience.

Iblis gathered his helpers and brought the house in which Ayoub (A)’s children were living, crashing down, killing all of them. Disguised as a man who had come to sympathize with him, he said:
“The circumstances under which your children died were sad. Surely, your Lord is not rewarding you properly for all your prayers.”

The faithful believer of Allah replied, disappointing Iblis once again:

“Allah sometimes gives and sometimes takes. He is sometimes pleased and sometimes displeased with our deeds. Whether a thing is beneficial or harmful to me, I will remain firm in my belief and remain thankful to my Creator.”

Saying this he prostrated to his Lord. Extremely vexed, Iblis again called on Allah:

“O my Lord, Ayoub (A)’s wealth is gone and his children are dead, but he is still healthy in body, and as long as he enjoys good health he will continue to worship You in the hope of regaining his wealth and producing more children. Grant me authority over his body so that I may weaken it. He will surely stop worshipping You and will thus become disobedient.”

Allah granted Iblis his third request but placed a condition:

“I give you authority over his body but not over his soul, intellect, or heart, for in these places reside the knowledge of Me and My religion.”

Armed with this new authority, Iblis afflicted Ayoub (A)’s body with disease, reducing it to mere skin and bone. He suffered severe pain yet remained strong in faith, and patiently bore all the suffering without complaints. Hopeful of Allah’s Mercy, he neither despaired nor turned to others for help. Although he had lost all his children and was deprived of his wealth and physically afflicted, he still continued to glorify Allah the Almighty day and night. His disease lasted for a long time. His friends felt disgusted and his close relatives deserted him. The sole companion and comforter through many years of his suffering was his kind and loving wife.

Iblis became desperate. He consulted his helpers but they asked him:

“How is it that your cleverness cannot work against Ayoub (A), yet you succeeded in misleading Adam, the father of man, out of paradise?”

Iblis went to Ayoub (A)’s wife in the form of a man. “Where is your husband?” he asked her.

She pointed to an almost lifeless form crumpled on the bed and said: “There he is, suspended between life and death.”

Iblis reminded her of the days when he had enjoyed good health, wealth and children. The painful memory of years of hardship overwhelmed her. She burst into tears and asked her husband:
“How long are you going to bear this torture from our Lord? Are we to remain without wealth, children or friends forever? Why don’t you call upon Allah to remove this suffering?”

Ayoub (A) sighed, and replied softly:

“Iblis must have whispered to you and made you dissatisfied. Tell me, how long did I enjoy good health and riches?”

She replied, “For eighty years.”

Then he asked, “How long have I been suffering like this?”

She said, “Seven years.”

Then he told her: “In that case I am ashamed to call on my Lord to remove the hardship, for I have not suffered longer than the years of good health and plenty that I enjoyed. Your faith seems to have weakened and you are dissatisfied with the fate decreed by Allah. If I ever regain health, I swear I will punish you with a hundred strokes! From this day, I shall not eat or drink anything from your hand. Leave me alone and let my Lord do with me as He pleases.”

Crying bitterly, with no other choice, she left with a heavy heart. In his helpless state, Ayoub (A) turned to Allah, not to complain but to seek His mercy:

“And (remember) Ayyub (Job), when he cried to his Lord: ‘Verily, distress has seized me, and You are the Most Merciful of all those who show mercy.’ So We answered his call, and We removed the distress that was on him, and We restored his family to him (that he had lost) and the like thereof along with them as a mercy from Ourselves and a Reminder for all those who worship Us” (Al-Anbiya 21:83-84). 

Almighty Allah further says in the Quran:

“And remember Our slave Ayyub (Job), when he invoked his Lord (saying): ‘Verily Shaitan (Satan) has touched me with distress (by ruining my health) and torment (by ruining my wealth)!’ (Allah said to him): “Strike the ground with your foot: This is (a spring of) water to wash in, and a cool and (refreshing) drink.”And We gave him (back) his family, and along with them the like thereof, as a Mercy from Us, and a Reminder for those who understand (Sad 38:41-43). 

Ayoub (A) obeyed Allah’s instructions, and almost immediately his good health was restored. Meanwhile, his faithful wife who could no longer bear to be parted from her husband returned to beg his forgiveness, and to serve him. On entering the house, she was amazed at the sudden change she saw. Ayoub (A) had regained his health! She embraced him and thanked Allah for His mercy.

Ayoub (A) was now worried about the oath he had taken to punish her with a hundred strokes if he regained health. He did not wish to hurt her but could not break a promise to Allah. Therefore, Allah in His wisdom and mercy, came to the assistance of His faithful servant, and instructed him:

“And take in your hand a bundle of thin grass and strike therewith (your wife), and break not your oath” (Sad 38:44). 

Thus Allah the Most Merciful rewards His faithful and grateful servants.

Source: Ibn Kathir

This story should remind us that we should never make our worship and sincerity toward Allah contingent on our perceived blessings. Allah tests us in many ways and we should, therefore, be steadfast in His worship constantly.

Sihr and Its Cure

A person struck by magic might experience the following:

Dislike of one’s spouse, as indicated in the Qur’an by the following verse, “And from these (angels) people learn that by which they cause separation between a man and his wife…” (Al-Baqarah, 2:102).

Different attitude in the house from that which is outside the house. For example, a person will feel that he is missing his family when is outside the house but when he goes home, love changes quickly to extreme hatred.

Inability to have sexual intercourse with one’s spouse.

Frequent miscarriage for pregnant women.

Sudden change in behavior without obvious reason.

Complete loss of appetite for food.

Thinking or imagining one has done something when in reality one has not.

Sudden obedience and/or love for a particular person.

It should be noted that if a person experiences some of the above symptoms this does not necessarily mean that he is either possessed by a jinn or struck by black magic. It might be due to physiological or psychological reasons.

As for curing this condition the following steps are recommended:
1) Putting one’s trust in Allah with sincere belief that He is the only cure for everything.

2) Reading Qur’aan and known supplications expressing seeking refuge, the most important and effective of which are:
a.     Soorat al-Faatihah
b.     Aayat al-Kursiy from Soorat al-Baqarah,
c.     The verses from Soorat al-A’raaf, [al-A’raaf 7:106-122]
d.     The verses from Soorat Yoonus, (Yoonus 10:79-82)
e.     The verses from Soorat Ta-Ha, [Ta-Ha 20:65-69]
f.      Soorat al-Kaafiroon
g.     Soorat al-Ikhlaas and al-Mi’wadhatayn (i.e., Soorat al-Falaq and Soorat al-Naas) – to be recited three times.
h.     Reciting some of the du’aa’s prescribed in sharee’ah, such as:
“Allaahumma Rabb al-Naas, adhhib al-ba’s wa’shfi, anta al-Shaafiy, laa shifaa’a illa shifaa’uka, shifaa’an laa yughaadiru saqaman (O Allaah, Lord of
mankind, remove the evil and grant healing, for You are the Healer. There is no healing except Your healing, which does not leave any sickness).”

2) Removing the elements of magic as was done by the Prophet when he was struck by black magic by a Jewish man called Lubaid Ben Al-‘Aasim.

3) Eating seven Aa’liya Al-Barniy dates (among the dates of Al-Madinah) first thing in the morning; if not possible, any dates will suffice, by the will of Allaah.

4) Cupping–removing excess blood.

5) Supplications.

And I ask Allaah to cure those who are suffering with evil eye and magic and ease their hardship, as He is the One who cures and there is no one else who can cure.

Wassalam
Zakia Usmani
http://www.facebook.com/zakiaaftabusmani

In What State Will I be…………

 

In the name of Allah, the Most-Merciful, the All-Compassionate 

“May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon You”

Praise be to Allaah, we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of our own souls and from our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allaah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

 

Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam ‘ala Rasulillah

As-Salaam Alaikum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu

In What State Will I Be ….
by Asma bint Shameem

Today I share some thoughts with you that run through my head

This is what I so often think as I lay here on my bed

 

What would I be doing and in what state will I be….

That day when Malak ul-Maut will approach me?

 

For surely he will knock on my door, oh so suddenly

My choice of place or time, it’s not going to be

 

On the day that I meet him, what will I do?

Theres no hiding that day, no one to run to

 

What will be my response to him? O What will I say?

I didn’t prepare for this….please come back another day?!

 

Please go back…go back. I’m just not ready yet!

Just a few more minutes…seconds… any time that I can get!

 

I would want to say goodbye but he wouldn’t let me

I would want another chance but that surely couldn’t be

 

When he will come for me, I wonder, will I be in heedlessness

Worrying little of the hereafter, in my state of carelessness

 

Or would I be the one who loves and lives upon the Sunnah?

Would the last words on my tongue be la illaaha illAllaah?

 

Would my kafan be made of silk, being sent from Heaven above?

Would it be so soft, so fragrant, wrapping my soul with love?

 

Or would it be so rough, so ugly, made of fire from Hell

A wrath, a torment from my Lord, full of nasty smell?

 

 

And what would happen when they bury me, six feet underground

When they lay me on my bed of dust, with no one else around

 

So scared and alone….the thought keeps haunting me

In what state will I be….when the angels will question me?

 

Will I be able to answer them….the questions they will ask

It seems so easy now….but what a lofty task!

 

Will I be scared to see them, will they be of horror to me?

Will I be able to bear them, when they sit in front of me?

Will I be able to give them those answers so easily?

Or will I stumble and stagger….not knowing, confusedly?

 

Will I stutter and stammer just like a hypocrite would?

Or would I be able to respond to them just as a Muslim should?

 

Will my grave be a piece of Jannah, green and open wide…

with Mercy from my Lord so Kind, my good deeds on my side?

 

Will I rest in my grave ever so peacefully?

Or will my grave be a wretched place of torture for me?

 

I pray my grave is not a bed…of torment and agony

I hope so earnestly that my Rabb will forgive me

 

And when everyone will be raised with the rest of humanity

In what state will I be…..when my Lord will resurrect me?

 

Will I be pleased to see my Rabb? Will I be eager to greet Him?

But more importantly will HE be pleased with me, the Day I meet Him?

 

Will my face be black with sin that day or will it be shining white?

Will my scale of deeds weigh heavy for me….would it be feather light?

 

O where will I run then …where will I hide? This is what scares me!

In what state will I be….when the book of deeds is handed to me?

 

Will it be given in my left hand or I will hold it in my right?

Will I be guided firm on the Siraat; my Imaan so big, so bright?

 

Will I be among the wretched or will Allaah be pleased with me?

In what state will I be…when I stand in front of the Almighty?

 

I shudder and I tremble when I think of that Great Day

When I ask myself…”Am I ready to meet my Lord today?”

 

I cry as I lay here….thinking. I shed my wretched tears

Please forgive me O Allaah, how I wasted all those years

 

I sinned all my life Yaa Maalik, Oh how I forsook you

Unless you forgive me O Allah, how can I meet you?!

 

My sins are so heavy Yaa Rabb, I can hardly bear the weight

But I’m hoping for your Mercy, Allaah, don’t leave me to my fate

 

For how long will I live? I don’t know when I’ll die

But like the prophet said I should expect it so close by

 

Let me stop this way of life; let me snap out of this trance

Let me turn my life around now that I have this perfect chance

 

Because today I am closer to my Lord than I was yesterday

Did it ever occur to me that today could be my last day?

Prophet with women

Written by Abdul-Rahim Ammar

Let’s see what the status of women under Islam is!

It is a fact that there is weakness associated with women. However, it should not be taken in a negative sense; but rather, women’s weakness can be seen unintentional in the sense that they are not as physically strong as men. It also gives them the characteristic of softness because they are emotionally delicate, an advantage for women just as it distinguishes them.

 It was the Prophet’s (SAWS) every intention to defend women and protect them from both physical and emotional harm and abuse. That position was clear in all of the stands he took regarding women.

 Allah’s Apostle was on a journey and he had a black slave called Anjasha, and he was driving the camels (very fast, and there were women riding on those camels). Allah’s Apostle said, “Waihaka (May Allah be merciful to you), O Anjasha[1]! Drive slowly (the camels) with the glass vessels (women)!”[2]

 In this Hadeeth, there is a clear order to go easy on women whether it was meant in the physical or emotional sense. The Prophet (SAWS) continuously requested that men should be kind to women in every way, to the extent that he made sure that the last speech he made to the Ummah stressed this by saying, “Be kind to women, for they are your captives.”[3]

 In the Hadeeth above, the Prophet (SAWS) asks men to take care of women and referred to women as if they were kept as captives at men’s houses! The Prophet referred in that incident to the power given to men over women being superior financially, emotionally and physically which might subject women to a feeling of helplessness similar to those who get captured in a war. That was also meant to draw men’s attention to  the sensitivity of women and how they should handle them delicately.

The Prophet confirms that when he says, “The best among you are those who are the most kind to their family. And I am the most kind among you to my family.”[4]

 Furthermore, the Prophet stresses the concept that women are men’s equals, meaning that they are not inferior to men in any sense when he said, “Women are the partners (equals) of men.”[5]

 Ibnul-Atheer[6] comments on the Hadeeth saying, “Partners means equals.”  The Prophet warned men against entirely hating their women saying that if you see something you do not like about them, you would find another that you like, “No man should hate his wife. If he finds something which displeases him, then he can surely find another trait which pleases him in her.”[7]

 The above Hadeeth teaches us great tolerance, which we can also derive from the glorious verse where Allah (SWT) says, “…And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” (TMQ, 4:19).

However, his kindness to women was not in theory only! He acted with great mercy and kindness towards them in his house. He was a living proof of tenderness of heart and kindness to women, believers or not. His legacy contains many self explanatory incidents that proved it.

 Here is an incident about him and his wife Lady Aisha who is the daughter of his best friend and companion Abu-Bakr (RA). Abu-Bakr was visiting them when Aisha raised her voice while arguing with the Prophet (SAWS). Abu-Bakr got angry because his daughter was not respecting the Messenger of Allah who is her husband. He rose up and tried to strike her. It was the Prophet who stopped him from doing so. The love and the kindness of the Prophet at that incident topped the love of the father for his daughter! After things calmed down, Abu-Bakr came to their house and said, “Involve me in your peaceful times like you involved me in your fighting times. To which the Prophet (SAWS) replied and said, “That we did, that we did.”[8]

 In another more outstanding story, the Prophet (SAWS) demonstrated the most patience and understanding of women’s behavior even when they err. As he was at the house of one of his wives with some of his friends, another wife sent him a bowl of food. So the wife whom he was in her house got jealous and came out and knocked the bowl of food from the Prophet’s hands which broke it and dropped the food on the floor! Although that was a very embarrassing situation to the Prophet, look at how he handled it. He calmly picked up the broken bowl, collected the food and asked his friends to eat saying, “Your mother (i.e. mother of the believers) got jealous.”[9]

 It all shows us how he understood that his wife felt jealous which made her break the bowl. He then just took a bowl from her to give to the other wife to compensate her for her broken bowl.

 If you look at the manners of the Prophet (SAWS) at his home and how he treated his family, you will see that he was a model of care and kindness. He took care of things himself; he never overloaded any of his wives with requests or work. Lady Aisha  (RA) describes him by saying that he would do the chores at home till it is prayer time; only then he’d leave for the prayer.[10] And in another narration we learn that he used to sew his own clothes and fix his own shoes. This was the manner of the man who ruled the ummah, the Prophet sent by Allah to mankind and the most powerful man at that time.

 The Prophet’s (SAWS) care for widows was greater than one can imagine! He spoke high of those who would take care and support widows and orphans. He said, “One who makes efforts (for earning money to be spent) on a widow and the destitute is like a striver in the cause of Allah, and I think he also said: He is like one who constantly stands for prayer and observes fast without breaking it.”[11]   

 Here he raised the status of those who support widows to match the status of those who pray through the night or fight for the dignity of Islam.

 The Prophet (SAWS) was faster to applying his teachings than anyone else. He used to support the widows and the helpless and run errands for them. He took special care of the slave women. Abdullah ibn-abi-Awfa said that a destitute person, slave woman or a widow could ask the Prophet for whatever help and he would do it for them.[12]

 Anas ibn-Malek (RA) relates the Prophet’s tremendous mercy to slave women as he said, “A slave girl could easily walk up to the Prophet, take his hands and walk with him to wherever she wishes.”[13]

 Ibn-Hajar commented on the above narration saying that ‘taking the hands’ of the Prophet (SAWS) here implies easy of acting around him and comfortable freedom.[14]

 I know all that and I can not help wondering if there is a king or president today who will be willing to personally give a hand to a servant or a slave!

 It was the Prophet’s humility, mercy and kindness that Allah spoke about when He said what can be translated as,

“And in no way have We sent you except as a mercy to the  worlds.”   (TMQ, 21:107).

 

---

[1]          Anjasha was originally from Ethiopia and used to lead caravans of Muslim women. Al-Isabah, 259. Usdul-Ghaba, 1/168.    

[2]          Authentic Hadeeth, narrated by al-Bukhary in the book  of “Good Manners and Form” no. 5856. Also by Muslim no. 2323 and al-Bayhakei no. 20637.

[3]          At-Tirmidhy no. 1163 and ibn-Majah no. 1851.

[4]          At-Tirmidhy no. 3895, ibn-Majah no. 1977, ibn-Hebban no. 4177 and at-Tabarany no. 853.

[5]          At-Tirmidhy no. 113, abu-Dawood no. 236, Ahmad no. 26238 and abu-Ya’lei no. 4694.

[6]          Ibnul-Atheer Alei ibn-Muhammad ibn-abdul-Kareem.  The great Muslim guru and historian.  He was born in the year 555 A.H.  He was specialized in stating lineages, historian, writer and a prominent nobleman.  Al-Ayan, 3/348.

[7]    Narrated by Muslim no. 1469, abu-Ya’lei no. 6418 and al-Bayhakei no. 14504.

[8]    Abu-Dawood no. 4999, Ahmad no. 18418 and An-Nasaei’e no. 8495.

[9]          Authentic Hadeeth, narrated by al-Bukhary in the book  of “Complaints” no. 2349. Also by an-Nasaei’e no. 3955, ibn-Majah no. 2334, Ahmad no. 13798.

[10]         Ahmad no. 24793. Shu’ayb al-Arna’ut said authentic.

[11]         Authentic Hadeeth, narrated by al-Bukhary in the book  of “Expenses” no. 5028. Also by Muslim no. 2982, at-Tirmidhy no. 1969, an-Nasaei’e no. 2577, ibn-Majah no. 2140, Ahmad no. 8717 and ibn-Hebban no. 4245.

[12]         An-Nasaei’e no.1414, ad-Daremei no. 74, ibn-Hebban no. 6424, at-Tabarany no. 405. Authenticated by al-Albany.

[13]         Authentic Hadeeth, narrated by al-Bukhary in the book  of “Good Manners and Form” no. 5724. Also by abu-Dawood no. 4818 and ibn-Majah no. 4177.

[14]         Ibn-Hajar: Fathul-Bary, 10/490.

Tanzil – Quran Navigator

Tanzil – Quran Navigator.

Truth, Disbelief and Renewal of Faith

From time to time, the levels of our faith do tend to dwindle. This weakness of faith manifests itself in degraded quality of acts of our worship, negligence in remembering Allah, feeling indifferent to His commands and, in general, us having a doubtful heart. Experiencing any of these symptoms or others akin to them is an indication of a weakness of faith that in turn may be depriving us of peace, tranquility, and closeness to our creator and sustainer.

This weakness or weariness of faith (Eeman), whether due to a weak understanding of truth, or the strength of external negative forces, is to be expected. Consider what the Prophet (SAWS) said in this context:

“Faith wears out in your heart as clothes wear out, so ask Allah to renew the faith in your hearts.” (narrated by al-Haakim in his Mustadrak and al-Tabaraani in his Mu’jam with a saheeh isnaad).

 

Here are a few steps that we can take immediately to renew our faiths.

Seek Allah’s Help

As the prophet mentioned in the aforementioned hadith, we should first and foremost ask Allah to renew and reinforce the faith in our hearts. We should make this call part of our regular Duas. In doing so, we should also be mindful of why we believe in the message of truth in the first place. We believe because we can relate the message of truth revealed in the Quran to the realities of this universe and what we find within ourselves and our hearts. We believe because as humans, a deeper intellectual and spiritual introspection has caused our hearts to resonate with the message of truth. We believe because after having pondered over the messages of the Quran, we comprehend them and have internalized them in our psyche. But more importantly, we believe in the truth of the Quran and Islam because of Allah’s unchallengeable, unequivocal and logical assertion as the creator, sustainer, and sole power of this universe. Thus, being convinced of His deity and majesty and the nobility of His Messenger and Prophet, we have consciously chosen to believe and live that message of truth.

Reinforce truth with knowledge

Next, let’s get clear about the meaning of truth as Islam has defined it. The clearer the message of truth in our hearts, the stronger our faith will be. Part of the renewal is therefore to actively engage in understanding the message of truth in our hearts and minds through studying the Quran, studying the traditions of the Prophet (SAW) as documented in the books of hadith and poring over the knowledge of known scholars who have helped elaborate on that message. The process of renewing our faith thus requires an active and personal effort to reach out to learn the various truths defined in Islam. The more we strive for it, the more we will increase our levels of awareness and faith.

Remember, the longer you keep your heart locked up from learning more, the less you will be able to reason and comprehend the message of truth, and the more you will rely on blind faith alone to live the message of truth.

As Allah says in the Quran,

“Will they not then ponder over the Qur’an, or is it that they have their locks on (their) hearts (which bar them from reason).” [47:24]

Beware of symptoms of rejection

Finally, be wary of what in your heart could be blurring your view of the message of truth. Imaam ibn Katheer, in his famous Tafseer ibn Katheer, mentions the reasons that prevent people from believing the message of truth. If any of those reasons are seeping into your psyche and have started to blur your vision and impacting your faith as a result, you need to actively step in and cleanse yourself of those symptoms. The reasons that ibn Katheer had mentioned included:

• Kufrul-’Inaad (Disbelief out of stubbornness)
• Kufrul-Inkaar (Disbelief out of denial)
• Kufrul-Kibr (Disbelief out of arrogance and pride)
• Kufrul-Juhood (Disbelief out of rejection)
• Kufrul-Nifaaq (Disbelief out of hypocrisy)
• Kufrul-Istihaal (Disbelief out of trying to make HARAM (illegal) into HALAL (legal)
• Kufrul-Kurh (Disbelief out of detesting any of Allah’s commands)
• Kufrul-Istihzaha (Disbelief due to mockery and derision)
• Kufrul-I’raadh (Disbelief due to avoidance)
• Kufrul-Istibdaal (Disbelief because of trying to substitute Allah’s Laws)

In Summary

Living the message of truth, therefore, requires us to abandon stubbornness (an attitude when we know deep in our hearts that we are wrong), denial (blindly ignoring facts), arrogance (thinking that accepting truth will demean us), hypocrisy (pretending to be someone while concealing the truth), mockery and derision (we mock truth and the righteous to go along with others) and avoidance (for one reason or another we try to avoid the message of truth). Once we eliminate these negatives that may have stained our hearts and open our minds to the message of truth, we will be on our way to renew our faith. In that process, we will also sense Allah in our lives and we will feel the sweetness of faith.

Let’s remember the saying of the Prophet as reported by Anas (May Allah be pleased with him):

“Allah says: ‘ When a slave of Mine draws near to Me a span, I draw near to him a cubit; and if he draws near to Me a cubit, I draw near to him a fathom. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.” [Al-Bukhari].

The Sunnah of Being Born – Etiquettes for Pregnancy, Childbirth and The Newborn

A talk delivered by Shaykh Yaser Birjas, the Director of English Youth Education at the Prayer Center of Orland Park, IL.

 “….For every single hardship, for every single pain she suffers during that time (pregnancy) she’ll get the reward for that…”

“….for the mother when she feels the pain and says Alhumdulillaah, and she always reminds herself , she will get the double reward. Extra reward for that, so she does that as much as possible inshaAllaah.”

 “…if that child (in the womb) hears the Qur’an, regularly and specifically from the mother’s voice – that is the best thing.Because when the child comes out and he hears the Qur’an from the mother’s voice then in this case this will be inshaAllaah good for that child and he will recognise that voice and continue with it…”

“….If Allaah blessed you with a child then you have the ability to help yourself, before your child, to make that child right grow up righteous, so that when you die, you get the reward for every single good deed that they do!….”

Webinar summary -‘The Fiqh of Pregnancy with Shaykh Yaser Birjas’

In the name of God, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ | Peace be with you السلام عليكم

Last Friday mumlovesme.com held a Q&A seminar, The Fiqh of Pregnancy Webinar with
Shaykh Yaser Birjas.

It was wonderful and informative alhumduillah. For those of you who weren’t able to listen in it was for women discussing contraception and pregnancy. Here are a few details discussed that I feel would be useful for men and women alike… Although most questions will pertain to woman and I haven’t really dipped my feet into the contraception aspect inshaAllah this will be valuable for women and couples expecting or planning to have or adopt a child.

Can Muslims adopt?

Yes Muslims can adopt but they are not permitted to change the last name of the baby. If the baby does not have a name or the name is unknown it is recommended that you give them a separate last name as they will need their own identity. We must be honest: and the child must know they are adopted at the right age.

Can the baby call us mum and dad, or mommy, mama, ammi, abu, daddy, dada?

Yes, it is perfectly acceptable for them to call you their mother or father as long as they know you are not their biological parent(s).

Can the child or baby be a mahram?

A mahram is a legal term in Islamic law, relating to male relatives who are ‘unmarryable’ that is, you cannot marry them due to the relationship bond. Can the adopted child be a mahram? Yes, if the child is 2 or under and they are given 5 solid meals of breast milk from the mother (can also be pumped and fed through a bottle). No, if they are over the age of 2 even if fed the milk.

Can we use newly innovated medication to induce lactation

Yes, there is no problem doing this.

Can Muslims give up their babies for adoption?

No. Sorry!

Can Muslims use IVF or other doctor supervised methods to help conceive a child?

Yes as long as there are no third parties; the egg (ovum) must be from the wife, and sperm must be from the husband, no exceptions.

Can someone else carry mine and my husband’s child if I’m unable to?

No. Surrogacy is not allowed.

If I have or am able to have many children, and my sister is unable to do so, can I give her a baby?

This is a delicate situation and requires great care and consideration. If you have an abundance of children, let’s say 5, and your sister is unable to carry a child and you become pregnant again, your sister can in fact raise your child as long as the child knows they are being sponsored/raised by your sister for that reason. The child cannot be under the misconception that your sister is the biological mother, however she can raise the child like her own and even breastfeed the child. Wet nurses have been all the rage in Europe and America, it’s a dead culture now, but bring back wet nurses!

I am assuming there is a mutual understanding and agreement between you and your husband and your sister and her husband in this circumstance, and no issues will come of the placement of the child.

What happens if the baby is aborted after 4 months?

It’s classified in Islam as the same as a murder since the mother and family chooses to eliminate this life. If it is accidental or was unintentional it’s a different case and no blame must be on the mother. If possible the fetus must be given a name, washed and buried according to Islamic teachings. {we will discuss still born children/ miscarriages in a future post insha’Allah from personal experience and Islamic law}

Can Muslims have ‘baby showers’?

Yes, as long as they don’t try and associate any ritualistic religious practices with them of any Islamic teaching and they aren’t lavish.

Am I allowed to find out the gender of the baby before birth?

Yes, there is no Islamic issue with medical science using ultrasound to determine the sex of the baby.

Can women use medication during birthing to stop or control pain and does it affect the blessing given by Allah swt?

You can use medication and it shouldn’t affect the blessing by Allah, however Allah knows best.

When should a Muslim woman stop praying while pregnant?

When her water breaks! If in the course of labor she cannot pray due to intense pain or being bed ridden she can make up for them at a later date. Up until labor a woman can pray and should try to pray; if shess unable to pray standing she can sit, if she is unable to sit she can lay down. Just keep remembering Allah.

Is it true that a woman cannot leave her house for 40 days after the birth?

No. This is a cultural innovation and contrary to Islam’s freedom.

What Islamic teachings should follow the birth?

The adhan (call to prayer) should be recited in the baby’s right ear as soon as possible. The naming of the baby could be done around a week’s time but this isn’t a ruling. Boys are to be circumcised, celebrations should be held for the birth of all children; the slaughtering of two sheep for a boy and one for a girl is advocated by Islamic custom since Muslim men will be spending more on the women in their life when their older! The shaving of the baby’s head is also done around the 7th day. All of this is called an ‘aqeeqah‘. More details can be found on most Islamic sites as to exactly how these are done and how long after birth.

Can a pregnant or breastfeeding woman fast?

She should if she is able to. If she is unable to do so because of feeling week, dizzy, becoming ill or fearing for the baby then she must break her fast and make up for it at a later date. This also goes for the same if she is worried her milk production will decrease for the infant or dry up completely if the child is a little older. These fasts can even be made up years later inshaAllah.

There were many valuable questions about various topics relating to pregnancy and contraception. InshaAllah may we have more web seminars like this one; these are just a few answers that I have paraphrased or answered off the top of my head after listening to the web seminar.

JazakAllah Khair to Sheikh Yasir Birjas and mumlovesme.com for the valuable information.

Audio : 

http://mumlovesme.com/Fiqh of Pregnancy.mp3

“My precious and dearly beloved diamond”

Men are the protectors and maintainers of Women

by Shaykh Salmaan ibn Fahd al-‘Awdah 

Allah says:

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because of what Allah has preferred one with over the other and because of what they spend to support them from their wealth.”

[Sûrah an-Nisâ’: 34]

What does it mean that men are “protectors and maintainers” of women? To answer this question, let us first look at the Arabic word that we are translating as “protectors and maintainers”. This word is “qawwâmûn” the plural of “qawwâm”.
This word – qawwâm – in turn, is an emphatic form of the word “qayyim”, which means a person who manages the affairs of others. The qayyim of a people is the one who governs their affairs and steers their course. Likewise, the qayyim of a woman is either her husband or her guardian – the one who has to look after her and ensure that her needs are met.

When Allah says: “Men are the qawwâmûn of women…” it means – and Allah knows best – that men are held liable for handling the affairs of women and are responsible for the women under their care. A husband, therefore, has the responsibility of taking care of his wife, protecting her, defending her honor, and fulfilling her needs regarding her religion and her worldly life. It does not mean – as all too many people have falsely assumed – that he has the right to behave obstinately towards her, compel her, subject her to his will, suppress her individuality, and thus heinously negate her identity.

His status as protector and maintainer is pure responsibility, pure liability, and not so much a position of authority. It requires from him that he uses his good sense, thinks carefully about what he does, and exercises patience. It means that he cannot be hasty and offhanded in his decisions. It does not mean that he can disregard his wife’s opinions and belittle her good person.

 

Why does Islam make men the protectors and maintainers of women?

The verse gives us two reasons why men are given this burden to shoulder. Allah says: “…because of what Allah has preferred one with over the other…” and “…because of what they spend to support them from their wealth.”

A problem arises when it is said that men have a preference to women. Then we see all those organizations, establishments, and activists who call to women’s equality stirring into motion, jumping up ready to fight over this point, and going off on all kinds of tangents in their thinking. Rather, they should pause long enough to properly understand what it means when Allah says: “…because of what Allah has preferred one with over the other …”This proper understanding can only be had in the light of the Qur’ân and Sunnah and their sound application.

Those who go overboard in asserting the rights of women and claim that the woman in Islam is oppressed and that Islam does not do her justice are driven to the point where they transgress against the very texts of the Qur’ân and Sunnah. In the name of “equality”, they demand absolute uniformity in matters of inheritance, in governance, and in everything else wherein a distinction between the sexes is made, sometimes taking matters so far that it is the men who have to chase after the hope of equality with women.

This brings us back to the question of what the verse is saying. Is it indicating that there is some inherent preference of men over women, something that is built into their very natures? The scholars of Qur’ânic commentary have taken two approaches to this matter.

The first approach is to refer the matter of the verse back to the natural makeup of men and women, with respect to their intellects, their different manners of thinking, and their natural strengths. They found that men, by nature, are more hot-blooded, tending more towards strength and severity, while women’s natures are cooler, tending more towards gentleness and weakness.

The second approach is to look at it from a legal angle – that Allah has imposed upon men to pay dowries to the women they wish to marry and has made men liable to spend on women and provide for them. This is the preference that men have over them. Likewise, Allah has placed prophecy with men only, as there has never been a woman prophet. In the same way, Allah has made the offices of supreme political authority and the obligations of jihad the exclusive domain of men.

The issue of testimony is also brought up in this regard, for Allah says:

“And bring to witness two witnesses from among your men. And if there are not two men available, then a man and two women from those whom you accept as witnesses – so that if one of them errs, the other can remind her.”

[Sûrah al-Baqarah: 282]

Others using this approach have cited certain acts of worship, like the fact that the Friday prayer and congregational prayers are prescribed only for men and not made compulsory on women.

The fact that men can have four wives while women cannot have more than one husband, or the fact that men have the exclusive option of immediate divorce have also been advanced as an interpretations.

With respect to both of these approaches, there are two observations that we can make:

The first is that the followers of both approaches agree on a preference of men over woman on the basis of Allah’s words: “…because of what they spend to support them from their wealth.”

The second is that the opinions of the commentators regarding whether or not the preferentiality refers to the natures of men and women is all based on their discretionary opinions (ijtihâd) with respect to their understanding of the verse. In any event, it would be fair to say that Allah has indeed singled out men for certain distinctions – prophethood, supreme political office, jihad, and military service, among other things – and this is because men have a nature different than that of women. This is a conclusion that all reasonable people would have to agree upon. The obligation imposed upon men by Islam to protect and maintain women should be seen in the context of the difference in their natural makeup and that the purpose for this is to secure the best interests of women.

Allah’s laws always accord with nature and take into consideration the unique gifts that Allah has bestowed upon each half that makes up the human whole – the man and the woman, so that those gifts can be employed to their maximum effectiveness.

We must remain cognizant of the fact that both men and women are Allah’s creations. And that Allah would never oppress any of His creatures. He prepares each of His creations to the purpose that he intends for it and bestows upon it the innate abilities needed to carry out that purpose.

Allah has made it of the exclusive qualities of women that they fall pregnant, bear children, and nurse them. Therefore, she is by nature burdened with the care of what the union between a man and a woman brings about, and it is an immense responsibility. Not only is it a heavy responsibility, it is a critical one, not something that can be approached lightly, without the physical, mental, and emotional preparation that Allah has bestowed exclusively upon women.

On this basis, it is only just that Allah would burden the other half of humanity – the men – with the task of fulfilling the needs of those women and protecting them, and that He would bestow upon men the innate physical, mental, and emotional qualities that would allow them to excel in doing what is required of them. Moreover, he would require men to be financially liable for the women under his care, since this is a necessary consequence of the duties he has to carry out. These two elements are, essentially, what the verse is talking about.

It is interesting to point out that the examples given by the commentators who follow the legal approach – things like prophethood, supreme political office, military duty, and carrying out certain religious rites like the call to prayer and congregational worship – are merely consequential of the natural dispensation of men. The reason these duties are suited to men is because men are not otherwise preoccupied with domestic burdens that would prevent them from carrying them out.

Though prophethood, for instance, is an honor of the highest degree, it is by no means the cause of why men are the protectors and maintainers of women. The distinction of prophethood can neither be derived from these duties, nor is it remotely indicative of any general preference of men with regards to women. It is but a fact that all the prophets were men.

Likewise, when we look at religious duties like making the call to prayer, leading the prayers, and giving the Friday sermon, we must acknowledge that these duties were given to men by the decree of Islamic Law. In no way do they necessitate that men are distinguished with every other possible legal ruling. Had Allah instead delegated these religious duties to women, this would not in any way have prevented men from being burdened with their protection and maintenance.

I must reiterate the point that the protection and maintenance given to men over women in no way implies the denial of the woman’s identity, whether in the context of the home or her position in society at large. It is merely a role to be played by men within the family environment so that this important social institution can be properly managed, safeguarded, and upheld. The presence of a manager in a given institution does not negate or diminish the individuality or the rights of the others who share in it or of those who work for it. Islam has clearly defined what the protection and maintenance of women entails for men – the care and protection, the manners and behaviors, and all liabilities associated with it.

How the Prophet (r) put this duty into practice

The Prophet (r) was not an emperor who lorded over his family. When we look carefully at his life, we would find it the most eloquent testimony of what we have stated above – that a man’s protection and maintenance of women in no way entails obstinacy, compulsion, or subjugation. ‘Â’ishah said about her husband:

“When he was at home, he was totally involved in housework.”

He was very clement. One of his wives woke up in the middle of the night and discovered that the Prophet (r) was not beside her, though it was her night to have him with her. She tells us that she locked the door on him, thinking that he had gone to one of his other wives on her night. When he returned after a short while to find that she had locked him out of the house and asked her to open the door, she confronting him on why he had gone out. He calmly told her that he simply had needed to go to the bathroom.

On many occasions, his wives would argue with each other in his presence. He never got angry when they did. He always solved their problems with wisdom, gentleness, and sensitivity, never with harshness. This shows us what a man’s role as protector and maintainer of women is all about.

On one occasion, his wife Hafsah chided her co-wife Safiyyah by calling her “the daughter of a Jew”. This was true, because Safiyyah’s father, Hubayy b. Akhtab, was in fact a Jew who had died without ever accepting Islam. Still, such a comment was meant as a take on Safiyyah’s person, which was only more hurtful as it was coming from her co-wife. So when she heard what Hafsah had said, she started to cry.

The Prophet (r) then came in and asked her why she was crying. She said:

“Hafsah called me the daughter of a Jew.” To this the Prophet (r) replied: “Verily, you are the daughter of a Prophet, your uncle was also a Prophet, and you are the wife of a Prophet, so what does she have over you to boast about?” He then turned to Hafsah and said: “Fear Allah, O Hafsah.”

In an alternate narration, the Prophet is reported to have turned to Safiyyah and said:“Why didn’t you say: ‘So how can you be better than me? Muhammad is my husband. Aaron is my father, and Moses is my uncle.”

Safiyyah was a descendant of Aaron (r). So, when Hafsah insinuated that Safiyyah’s being the daughter of a Jew was something bad, the Prophet (r) showed Hafsah another way of looking at it: that Safiyyah was the descendant of Prophet Aaron and that her uncle was Moses, and that her husband was Muhammad (r), so there was no reason for her to be ashamed.

Anyone who would take the man’s status in Islam as the protector and maintainer of women and use it as a pretext to oppress women is committing a crime against Islam.

Islam has guaranteed women their rights as individuals, including their right to have and express their own opinions. The Sunnah is full of examples of this.

We have, for instance, where Khawlah bint Tha’labah complained to the Prophet (r) about her husband who foreswore ever again having sex with her by the old pagan custom of claiming her to be like the back of his mother, whereupon the following verse of the Qur’ân was revealed: “Allah has indeed heard the words of the woman who pleads with you concerning her husband and carries her complaint (in prayer) to Allah…” [Sûrah al-Mujâdlah: 1] followed by the verses abolishing that oppressive custom.

We can look at the case of Khansâ’, who’s father married her off with her disapproval, so the Prophet (r) had her marriage annulled.

In another instance, a young woman complained to ‘Â’ishah, saying:

“My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his social status. However, I hate it.” When the Prophet (r) heard her complaint, he gave her the option of having the marriage annulled. She said: “O Messenger of Allah! I have accepted what my father has done. However, I wanted to know that women had a choice in the matter.”

Then we have the story of Burayrah and her husband Mughîth. Both of them were slaves. When she acquired her freedom, she had the legal right of staying with her husband who was still a slave, or of leaving him. She chose to leave him and he began following after her, crying for her to return to him. The Prophet (r) said to her:

“If only you would go back to him.” She asked: “O Messenger of Allah! Are you commanding me?” He said: “No. I am only pleading on his behalf.” She replied: “Then I have no use for him.”

On another occasion, a woman came to the Prophet (r), complaining that men are given the opportunities of military duty, congregational worship, and other things. The Prophet (r) let it be known that he was very pleased with her question and with her manner of address.

During the reign of the Caliph ‘Umar b. al-Khattâb, we have the story of a woman who rebuked him while he was on the pulpit about a decree he wished to make. To this, he said publicly: “ ‘Umar is mistaken and this woman is correct.”

We can go on citing examples of women’s right to speak their own minds, even before the heads of state, not to mention their husbands. From this, we should be able to keep the status of men as protectors and maintainers of women in the proper perspective.